College Lessons and Things

College Lesson #31: Complaints ≠ Change

It has come to my attention that there are just some complainy people (that’s a word now; I said it and that’s how new words happen) in the world. And that’s fine. You wanna complain about the mile-long to-do list you’ve got going, or the stuff you’ve gotta fill out, or the twelve tests you’ve got this week, or the people around you, go for it. More power to you that you know what’s wrong in your life. So happy for you. Now, go complain somewhere else. Out of my earshot.

I am not about that life. I try so hard to see the positive side of things. And even if I don’t, because honestly, I don’t always, I know, or figure out, how (I recognize I’m still learning; shhh, don’t tell my parents that)  to fix it. And I know my complaining isn’t going to change anything. Complaining might make me feel better. I recognize the occasional need to vent. But I know it doesn’t change a thing.

Last year in my developmental psych class we read about a thing called “corumination.” Corumination is when friends repeatedly mull over problems and negative emotions together. This is more common in women, for sort of obvious reasons. This is a problem because, in addition to prolonging negative feelings, it can lead to making the problem worse. The general consensus among those who discussed it was that it can be helpful in moderation.

Now, why in Heaven’s name did I just go on a rant about concepts in psychology. Well, I’m so glad you asked (thanks Dr. Crawford, for your wonderful lecture techniques rubbing off on me; I appreciate it. For everyone who does not attend my school or has not taken his class, Dr. Crawford is the Dean of the College of Christian Studies and my Old Testament class; his lectures usually have some form of what I just said in them, sometimes more than once).

Corumination and complaining are pretty close if you ask me. And they fall into the same bucket. In moderation, complaining is fine. Get someone to empathize with you. Feel better about your problems. And fix them. Because (and I’m about to drop a wisdom bomb on you, so brace yourself) WE’VE ALL GOT PROBLEMS. And they are all so important to us. And that’s great. But complaining isn’t going to fix them.

Getting off your rear and fixing them is going to fix them. So. Fix it. Or stop worrying about it. Period.


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