Broken Chairs

This week’s challenge is about food and/or eating.

For anyone who knows me, you know how not graceful I am. For those of you who don’t, not even the loosest definition could apply to me. I walk into walls. I trip on the furniture. I slip and fall. I find bruises on my legs from origins unknown. All of this to say, I learned how to fall so it hurts the least. But, alas, learning how to fall does not keep you from breaking a chair and falling.

Now, let me set the scene.

It was Thanksgiving. It was my family (of 5, in addition to me), plus my uncle (yes, I am well aware he is also family; just not immediate family, so chill out). And we did the standard “What are you thankful for?” thing at the beginning of dinner.

Now, I’m not big on turkey (I used to be, but now I’m not; not really sure how or when or why, but it did). So I fill up on mashed potatoes and stuffing and broccoli souffle and green bean casserole and GRAVY. I love gravy. I sometimes get a craving for it like, “Here let me just eat a vat of gravy with a spoon.” (I know you think I’m exaggerating, but I’m really not. It’s my favorite part of the meal.) And at Thanksgiving, there is ample food to go with the gravy. So I usually get seconds just to drown them in gravy. Because it’s delicious.

Now, I also have to explain some slightly personal things. I’m small. I’m 5′ 5″ and about 100 pounds soaking wet. And I have been since the summer after 7th grade. And I can usually eat. Pretty well.

Anyway. We’re sitting at dinner and I finished my first plate and I decided I wanted more gravy. And also more things so I had a reason to get more gravy. So I got up and got myself a full dish (again, I know. It’s cool). And I set my dish on the table and sat down and all of a sudden, I was on the floor. The table was barely at eye level. And my chair was in pieces below me.

Yup, Gabi just broke a chair.

Now these chairs were a little old, but not especially old, to the point of falling apart. I was so confused. And I did what I always do when I’m confused (or embarrassed or nervous or flustered): I laughed. Hysterically. Not like a normal person laughs. Like a crazy person.  For a good 5 ish minutes.

Now, that is the story about me breaking the chair at Thanksgiving.

And I’m pretty sure I did it a few months later.

To this day, I haven’t the slightest idea how that happened.


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